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| Me and Al on our way to see Tim McGraw |
January 27th is always a difficult day for me. This year is especially difficult.
Today would have been the golden birthday of my best friend Al. He would have turned 27 today.
I always take the time to mention my appreciation for him when his birthday comes around. Al was my Dear Abby, as I was his. He lived down the street and he was my best friend. We didn't do much together outside of washing his car together, "off roading" in the dried up strawberry fields off Sand Canyon Avenue, and going up to Irvine Lake to poke around and watch the motocross guys practice. We mostly just talked.
It has been nearly nine years since his death, and I still have his cell number memorized. I have the last picture taken of him framed in my kitchen. I thank my lucky stars every day for allowing me to be in his life, up to the very end.
The last nine years have taught me this: Growing up does not necessarily mean healing faster.
I thought that as the years progressed and I got older that the empty feeling in the pit of my being would slowly fill up and I could appreciate my best friend for what he was. I hoped I would have the ability to let go of the loss and begin to officially heal. I'm still hoping.
I miss you buddy.
"My Old Friend" - Tim McGraw
Actually - You have healed - you likely did sometime ago. Because of the truest love and respect you shared between each other - Your best friends life and the vivid memories are forever ingrained in your heart. In time - the only thing you will learn to do - is settle down the hurt that surrounds your heart every year.
ReplyDeleteI would argue that not having the emotions you now endure would reflect, to a degree, a personal want to forget or diminish the memories.
I, like you - live the same emotional feelings several times a year.
Just my opinion of course.
John