Neener Neener Neener...

"I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you"

As a child, I remember saying the above nursery rhyme to the bullies of the playground.  As I have grown up to be the young woman I am today I have realized that bullies still and will always exist.  There will always be someone who is envious of you, competitive against you, or just makes rude comments without thinking about how those comments might hurt another person.

These verbal decisions and actions may be derived from ignorance.  They may come from the bully not knowing the history of the person they are attacking.  They might come from a twisted sense of humor.  But they almost always come from the fact that the aggressor simply does not think.  

Recently, I was the victim of verbal harassment.  It came at a time when I was completely unprepared and blind sided.  Without going in to too much detail, I was devastated that someone who I was working with on a couple different projects within my education would not only offend me, but go as far as offend my family and my heritage.

I spoke to that individual about actions that had been displayed and the teasing stopped for a while, but it never really went away.  There was a dark cloud of animosity between us and I decided to simply distance myself from the toxic atmosphere that was developing.

Not long after I made that decision, this person committed an act that was underhanded and to be frank, utterly disrespectful.  I could not stand there and take the abuse any longer.  I contacted the various authorities that I felt would be able to help me in the situation that I found myself in and emails were exchanged.  Meetings were scheduled.  

A solution was reached.  I felt much better.  I wasn't living in fear of this person anymore.  I wasn't at the mercy the uninformed and hazardous language that this person displayed any longer.  

Then, third party receivers of gossip pulled me aside.  "People want to know what happened" they tell me.  "Why did you do what you did?" they posed.  

I don't want to tell anyone what happened.  I want to put this all behind me.  I don't want to find myself turning backward into the guarded state that I was in when the abuse was occurring.  

So, what do I do? Do I just tell them and let them draw their own conclusions no matter what that is?  Do I tell them that it's personal and I don't have to tell anyone anything? 

No, that would be childish.

I think the best thing for me to do at this time is to let these people know that proprietary information has been shared with trusted parties and if them not knowing the story will impede on their ability to continue with their lives and daily tasks then they can talk with me privately and I would be happy to answer any specific questions that they may have regarding the issue.

My first reaction growing up would have been to simply fire back.  Make myself look better.  Defend myself to anyone and everyone who would listen.  But, as I have grown up and started working in a team-based sector I have learned that this is not always the best solution.  Gossip is never the answer.  I will stand to my belief that I made the correct decision for my own well being and if that isn't good enough for anyone else, then at least I can sleep at night knowing that I did what I knew in my heart was the right thing to do.

Hike!

Like many Californians, I probably won't be watching the Super Bowl this year based on my love of the game.  I mean, I'm a die hard Chargers fan, and therefore not even remotely a New England fan.  Let's face it, the Giants are just another version of the Patriots anyway.  This year it's New England v New England.  Either way, a New England team is going to win, and a New England team is going to lose.  Boooooring. 

I would have been sooooo excited if a certain number-themed California team made it to the bowl, but it didn't, so I'll be hanging out watching awesome commercials on my 55" 3DHDTV instead of the game.

Coca-Cola has made watching the commercials more interesting this year.  They are introducing a live reaction format into their famed Polar Bear ads.  These bears will react during the commercial breaks to what  happened in the game. (For more info click here: Coke Polar Bowl)

This doesn't really have anything to do with being a "Grown up" other than the fact that I have my own place, with my own TV, my own beer, and my own couch to sit and channel surf on throughout the game without anyone complaining.

Some of my favorite commercials from years past are below for your viewing and reminiscing pleasure:

Budweiser 2003:

Doritos 2011:

Taco Bell 2007:

And probably the two most famous of them all
Pepsi 1992:

Budweiser 1995: 

My Old Friend

Me and Al on our way to see Tim McGraw

 January 27th is always a difficult day for me.  This year is especially difficult.

Today would have been the golden birthday of my best friend Al.  He would have turned 27 today.

I always take the time to mention my appreciation for him when his birthday comes around.  Al was my Dear Abby, as I was his.  He lived down the street and he was my best friend.  We didn't do much together outside of washing his car together, "off roading" in the dried up strawberry fields off Sand Canyon Avenue, and going up to Irvine Lake to poke around and watch the motocross guys practice. We mostly just talked.

It has been nearly nine years since his death, and I still have his cell number memorized.  I have the last picture taken of him framed in my kitchen.  I thank my lucky stars every day for allowing me to be in his life, up to the very end.

The last nine years have taught me this: Growing up does not necessarily mean healing faster.  

I thought that as the years progressed and I got older that the empty feeling in the pit of my being would slowly fill up and I could appreciate my best friend for what he was.  I hoped I would have the ability to let go of the loss and begin to officially heal.  I'm still hoping.

I miss you buddy.

"My Old Friend"  - Tim McGraw

Good deeds

Part of being a grown up is knowing and understanding that there are billions of people in the world and one day, one of them might need your help.

This morning, as I was driving to school, I witnessed an accident.  I was on the 55 fwy going north and just about to hit my exit.  When all of a sudden, a 2011 model year Nissan Z hydroplaned and spun out in front of me.  He made one and a half revolutions before his back bumper slammed into the right shoulder barrier.  If he had spun out a mere 10 feet sooner, he would have been thrown off a cliff embankment at the Chapman East exit.

He was lucky.

I immediately put my hazards on and pulled out onto the Chapman East Exit and stopped.  I called 911.  I gave the operator my coordinates. 

While this was happening the man who wrecked drove his vehicle to where I had parked.  He didn't even have to turn around since he was already facing oncoming traffic.

I got out of my car in the rain to check if he was ok.  He said he was, I told the operator to cancel the ambulance I had asked for in anticipation that he would need one.

As I drove to school after the whole ordeal, I wondered why I was the only person to stop to see if he was ok.  15+ people saw it happen.  I was the ONLY one to stop.  A 25 year old girl who could have been late to an obligation but didn't care because another person may have needed me there.

What if he HAD been hurt? What if he had a broken bone or concussion?  No one would have known had I not stopped.

I want to take this time to ask my fellow human beings to do something nice for someone today.  Open a door for an old lady.  Let someone cut in front of you in a busy parking lot.  Smile at the next stranger you see in the grocery store.  Simply, pay it forward.  You never know when you will need humanity to help you out one day.

The House that Almost Was

This was going to be my first condo.  Not the whole building, but the unit at the bottom right with the big patio.  Unit 6C.

This house was amazing!  It was in a newer neighborhood, right up the street from a movie theater, grocery store, restaurants, and most importantly, WalMart!

I loved this house.  It was a one bedroom with a huge walk in closet.  The best part of the house though, was the loft.  It was already set up as a home theater.  It was perfect!

I made an offer, it was accepted.  I did all the paperwork.  I had the inspections.  I got home insurance.  I ordered new checks with my new address on them.  Everything went relatively smoothly.  I was supposed to close escrow on September 26, 2011.

So, I went out and did what every excited new homeowner does.  I bought a HUGE TV!  I bought decorations.  My parents bought a new, matching, GE suite for the kitchen.  I had paint colors picked out in my head.  We wrote checks, signed our names more times than I ever wish on anyone.  Then we got the call.

On September 26, 2011 (the day I was supposed to close escrow and get keys) I lost the house.  The Home Owners Association waited until the last minute to tell the bank that there was pending litigation in the association over an issue that was deemed a "safety concern."  The bank wouldn't lend.

I lost the house.  On the day I was supposed to close escrow.  I was beyond upset. What the heck was I going to do with the 55" TV I bought for the theater?

Growing up means learning how to fall in love with something, having it in your grasp, losing it at the last second, and bouncing back.  Growing up means learning what questions to ask before it's too late.  Growing up is understanding that everything happens for a reason, no matter how annoying that might be.

My advice to you:  When your offer on a house is accepted, make sure you request the H.O.A. Docs immediately.  If I had asked the right question, this wouldn't have happened.  Lesson learned.

Bucket List

I've been thinking... since I'm claiming to be grown up now, should I write a Bucket List?  I've always had goals that I wanted to reach at various points in my life, but are goals technically bucket items??

Goals already achieved:
Get Published: Most recently here
Go to college: Done
Live on a boat: Semester at Sea
See 25 countries and foreign territories by the age of 25:  Family vacations and Semester at Sea
Find my Biological Family: Done
Meet a Holocaust Survivor: Elie Wiesel
Meet Huell Howser: He spoke at my school
Go to the Pawn Stars' shop: On my way to Wyoming
Meet a Rock Star: Tommy Lee at the club I used to work at
Buy a house: More on that later
Go to the Olympics: 1996 - Atlanta
Climb the Great Wall of China: April 2008
See the Taj Mahal: March 2008
Go on Safari: February 2008
Shoot a machine gun: March 2008
Start a Non-Profit: More on that later
Shave my head: February 2008

Huell Howser and I

Shooting an M-60 in Vietnam

Pawn Stars shop

Whaddya think?  What are some items in your bucket list?  Should I make it official?  This is going to take some thinking and pondering and picking-o'-my-brain and such before I make a commitment to list the rest of my goals.  Lists have to be completed! (That's the OCD inside of me talking there.)

The Hills of Old Wyoming

"Wake with a song! Wake with the sun!
Saddle to mend, cattle to tend, Plenty to be done"

In July of 2011 I started a tradition.  That tradition is taking a yearly trip to Wyoming.

Back story: I met my biological sister Katie and her family for the first time in 2011, on my 25th birthday.  They drove from Wyoming to California to meet me for a few days, then we all packed up and drove 20 hours straight to her home town back in Wyoming so I could meet my sister Cayla and her two boys, and my little sister Dreama for the first time.

Lesson learned: being an adult means making risky decisions and taking chances that could potentially turnout horribly.  

In this case, it was the best decision I could have made.  I hit it off with my sisters immediately.  My nephews didn't need any time to warm up to me.  It all fit.  It was amazing.

Katie and I on my 25th birthday

Myself and sister Cayla

Me and sister Dreama

My nephews: Bryce, Blevins, and Brody

From my first day in Wyoming, I knew that this would be a yearly trip.  I missed out on 25 years of my siblings in my life, I'm not going to miss another one.

Things I learned from meeting my sisters:
 We are all obsessed with Hidden Valley Ranch dressing
 We all have dimples in our shoulders
 I can, in fact, live in cowboy boots
 Deep down, I don't belong in the city
 I love being "Auntie Chelle"
 Cooking skills are hereditary
 It's O.K. to be a little weird

Perpetual Learner

You learn something new every day.  For example: "Paraphernalia."  I learned that there are two "r"'s in parapheRnalia the other day.

Undergrad: Dodge College of Film and Media Arts home to Chapman University's Film School

If you wanted to choose one of the most expensive hobbies ever, choose to be a life-long learner.  It's what I did.  But, I know that this hobby will bring me the best return on investment over anything else I could do in my life.

Maybe it's because I know how to handle the stress school brings me, or because I know there is a massive amount of information out in the world that I need to know.  Whichever the case, I have succumbed to the fact that I will probably always be in school, or training, or partake in some other form of intellectual stimulus.

In Spring of 2011, a friend and neighbor of mine posted a Facebook status stating that Chapman University's Argyros School of Business and Economics was holding a scholarship contest to win a full-ride to the Chapman MBA program.  All you had to do was write a 600 word paper on how earning an MBA would help you to help the Orange County Economy.  So, what the heck?  I gave it a try.  Next thing I know, I'm a semi finalist.

Let me tell you, as someone who didn't think she would go to Grad school, this was a major step for me.  My parents had already paid for my undergrad.  I was on my own.  I had eight days to apply to the school, take my GMAT, pass my GMAT, and enroll in classes.  And, who'dda thunk it, but I did it!  I didn't win the full-ride, but I did win $18,000 to start off.

Off to Chapman (and the poor house) I went again to earn my MBA in Marketing.

Grad: Beckman Hall, home to Chapman University's Argyros School of Business and Economics

I am working with an absolutely amazing group of colleagues toward a degree I will cherish more than any other piece of paper I have ever gotten my hands on.  Though it is a struggle at times to work full time during the day and go to school at night and on weekends, I know it will all be worth it in the end.  I'll probably be bored out of my mind once I graduate with all that extra time on my hands, but knowing me, I'll find something else to add to my list.

Class of 2013: 2 semesters down, 6 to go! 

Classmates Elise, Hunter, Shelly, Paolo, and I at a get together for a school organization

Monkey See, Monkey Do

My parents, before I was even a thought in their pretty little feather banged heads

I have to give credit to my parents for raising me the way they did.  Yes, we fought.  We fought a alot.  It was probably all my fault, but I will never speak those words out loud.

They met at Disneyland, fell in love, and lived happily ever after.  They got married, left Disney, Mom worked for the Phone Company, and Dad was the best root-tootin' salesman this side o' the Mississippi.  They bought a house, grew their lives together, picked me up from the hospital, and started being parents.  I was going to be their perfect little girl.

Unfortunately, I liked getting dirty more than I liked playing with Barbies.  Camping trips were fun (til they made me shower when we got home!)

I think this is the trip that I literally came home covered in dirt and mud.

I grew up in the "safest large city in the nation" going on 7 or 8 or 9 years running.  A planned community with street names that all end in "wood."  Northwood.  Southwood.  Meadowood. Brywood.  You get the picture.  We lived in a big blue house with our dogs Nicky Sue, Jake, and Chaz.  We had an SUV and a sedan.  I borrowed eggs and tools from my neighbors and I played with kids in the street.  There was no time for video games.  Climbing trees was more fun.  If I wanted to record a show, my mom bought me a blank VHS, and I hit the "record" button on the TV set when it came on.  It was a very suburban life. I was safe outside with my friends.  There was no trouble to get into.  I was one of the lucky ones.  I want to give this life to my future kids.  I might actually want to turn into my parents.

Me and Dad shoveling the Explorer out of the snow on Mammoth Mountain

Growing up how and where I did molded me into the young woman I am today.  I am proud of who I am becoming and I have my parents to thank.  I strive to accomplish everything I can every day.  I look up to my parents and what they have done in their lives and although there may still be some "tricks of the trade" missing from my life experience file, I'll figure it all out.. one mistake at a time.

Undergraduate graduation day

Thanks Mom and Dad, I love you!

July 22, 2010

"New Beginnings" holds a completely different meaning for me.  I've had quite a few beginnings in my life, starting from the time I was born.  I was actually the third party in my first new beginning.

Picture of my parents and I when my adoption was finalized

I was adopted into a very loving family when I was born.  My Mom and Dad have ALWAYS provided for me in a way that I will appreciate whole heartedly until the day I die. However, something was always missing.  I knew I had siblings out in the world somewhere.  I didn't know it as fact, but I knew it deep inside.  I was a sister and I always wondered if and how I would find my blood relatives.

I had the birth certificate for "Baby Girl Herrera" in my hand and was scouring it for information about my birth parents.  There wasn't much in the documents that I could go off of, given that it was a closed adoption.  A lot of blacked out sentences and contact information.  But I had names and birthdays.  I started there.

Cue: Google.  I tried countless combinations of names, nicknames, city names, last names, last known locations, heritage, and adoption websites.  What I found: nothing.  No one was looking for me (on the web at least).   I almost gave up.

On July 22, 2010 I tried one more combination in Google: "margaret peggy herrera riverton ridgecrest"

EUREKA!  I got a hit!  Unfortunately, it was my biological mother's obituary.  I read it with every hope of finding something, ANYTHING, I could use to find out if there were more blood relatives out there.  Lucky for me, obituaries list surviving relatives of the deceased.  Even luckier for me, it listed my five siblings' names!  Off to Facebook I went to send the most awkward message EVER to the names of my "siblings."

"This is going to seem weird.. but I think you're my sister. Peggy Herrera. 

I am the daughter of Peggy Lynn Herrera (as she was named when I was born). Is there any chance you're my older sister? I was given up for adoption at birth, and I have recently been looking for my birth parents. Unfortunately, I found Peggy's obituary (if she's your mother, I am truly sorry for your loss, and I wish I had had the chance to meet her) and every detail matches up with what I knew about her.

If you didn't know about me, which I kind of doubt you did, I'm insanely sorry for this shock. Please respond to me if you find it in your heart.

If you have no relation to Peggy, then I'm very sorry for bothering you. Thanks so much.

Michelle Lynne Cook"

Not 15 minutes later, I had a response.  Then came the phone calls.  Then came the tears.  Then came the most wonderful personal journey I have ever been on.

It guess it takes digging into your childhood and your past to appreciate who you have become as an adult.

Step One

I guess the first step to being a grown up is to move out of your parents house.  Well, maybe get a job and THEN move out of your parents house.  Technically, finish school, then get a job, then move out of your parents house...

Now that I think about it, I'm on step three.

"If you go to a four-year private university after high school we will pay for your education."  -Mom and Dad

Hey, it sounded good to me and it kept me out of trouble.  I worked hard, applied to 11 schools, got into 9 and I was off to Florida to the University of Tampa in August of 2004.  Fast forward to Summer 2005 when I was back in California over summer break where I decided I wanted to change my major and move back to Orange County to finish out my degree.  I was now off to Chapman University to major in Public Relations and Advertising and the rest, as they say, was history.

2009 was probably the worst year to graduate from college.  I couldn't find a job ANYWHERE.  I signed up with a temp agency and started my long term assignment at the Orange County Fire Authority (the perks were great.. and by perks I mean being around firefighters all day).  Then more government budget cuts were taken and I was out of a job again.

Back to the temp agency I went.  I was assigned to ISTA Pharmaceuticals in June 2010 and was finally hired on as a full time employee in January 2011.  It took nearly 2 years, but I finally had a job!

The "growing up" finally began when I accepted that job offer.  Boy oh boy was I in for a wild ride.  Now, here I am, writing a blog of what I did, how I did it, where I screwed up, and what I learned from it.